A new year is upon us and it has inspired me to take a look back at what 2015 has provided me. I’m going to be vulnerable and let you in on what 2015 has looked like personally. Then, I’m going to show you what it looked like professionally. Because I feel it goes hand in hand. My work started to really thrive when I embraced the personal side of it and remembered the reasons why I chose to be a wedding photographer in the first place.
2015 was filled with healing. It started out rough, with my heart tangled in hurt and confusion and frustration. 2015 is the year when I surrendered. I stopped being afraid to ask for help. When I asked for help is when I took my first steps towards true healing. I learned to stop listening to the lies and I figured out how to focus on honesty. I realized that it’s okay to not be okay. I surrounded myself with a support group who wouldn’t be afraid to ask me the tough questions and would be patient in my process to answer them. I even began to even ask myself the tough questions and made myself sit with it until I could answer them – even when it hurt. 2015 started with the process of overcoming my fears. My anxiety was really awful. Like the ocean, it would build up and crash onto the shore, then slowly drift away. But it came back and forth with no rhythm or routine to follow. I was so, so fearful. My anxiety fueled my fears and made everything irrational seem like the truth. As I started getting a handle on what was going on in my heart, my anxiety was easier to understand and control.
When I sought after healing, I found so much more. I found deep understanding, support, and love. I found confidence in myself and in my work. I gave up in trying to impress others. I focused on what I needed. I let others into my story. When I no longer let fear control my heart, I got to dive into what inspires me the most – people and photography. Without fear, I got to know my clients and I allowed them to know me, too. I started traveling outside of California to other destinations (Portland, Seattle, Ohio, and Chicago, to name a few) and met so many people I can now call friends. The less I let fear control me, the greater the opportunities were that opened up to me. I stepped outside of my comfort zone more times than I can count. By doing this, I feel like my photography has thrived. I finally was able to harness the inspiration I’ve held in my heart. I was able to provide artwork for my clients that I’m really proud of.
2015 was filled with love. In August, Nathan asked me to to be his forever and to marry him. It’s a moment I will never, ever forget. We’ve been together almost 7 years, and it will soon be our turn to say “I do.” 2015 was a rough year on my heart, but through it, we stood firm, hand-in-hand. We were given so many opportunities to learn so much from each other. We were able to be truly vulnerable with one another. We were able to support and build each other up. We led each other closer to Jesus, who is the reason we’re even capable of love. I can’t wait to marry the man of my dreams! In 2015, I was reminded that the journey of love is NOT easy. It’s not a fairytale in a movie. It’s not perfect and it’s not something that just happens. Love is something you work really really hard for. Love is worth chasing after. And it’s worth every second.
Love reminds me a lot of light. There is so much strength and power in light. There is goodness. There is joy. There is truth. There is vulnerability and intimacy. You can’t hide in it. 2015 is the year when I realized that I don’t want to hide anymore. There is nothing more romantic to me than light. All I want to do is embrace more of it. Light will forever win over darkness, no matter what. What a gift we’ve been given! A few verses I’ve been meditating on recently are about light:
Then God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. And God saw that the light was good. – Genesis 1:3-4
The Lord is my light and my salvation – so why should I be afraid? – Psalm 27:1
You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. – Matthew 5:14
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it. – John 1:5
2015 was really good. It was really hard – but boy, was it good. 2015 was the year I met some really incredible people. The year I got to explore the states. The year I stepped out of my comfort zone. The year I didn’t let fear control me. The year I constantly chased after light. The year I found freedom. The year I said yes to love. The year that was ground breaking for my heart. The year that was the most inspiring yet.
Thank you to everyone who has supported and encouraged me. Thank you for the opportunity of photographing your joy and your love. Thank you to all of my clients who trusted me with so many important moments. Thank you to everyone who has joined me on social media, specifically my favorite network of Instagram. Thank you for inviting me into your adventure.
I’d love to share with you just some of my favorite photographs from this past year. I hope you enjoy.
2016 will be a year to chase after light. To fight for love. To overcome fear and self-doubt. To enjoy the little things. To photograph more weddings. To fill my calendar with adventures. 2016 will be a year to embrace life.
Will you join me?
Let’s go on an adventure. All you need to do is shoot me an email! Let’s chat!